Monday, July 31, 2006

What it all comes down to...

On my drive home today things suddenly made sense. In that non-sensical kind of way. I was driving down Ponce which changes into Scott which turns into Hwy 78. Now-a-days that road is a familiar road, leading home, running westward, north of Decatur. It's the road that gets me from downtown or midtown or the Civic Center, or Little Five Points or The Fabulous Fox to this little apartment that is my home. But only 3 months ago that road was something entirely different. It was the road that I would ride on (not drive, for I was always a passenger in Judson's car if I happened to be on that road) to get from the mysterious and exciting, yet not so inviting Atlanta locals to Judson's house. It was a road that, in my mind's eye, ran West. It was north of nothing. For Decatur was only a word to me then. Just a place I'd heard of. A name that brought images of ghetto meets artsy.
So, as I was driving down that road (Ponce/Scott/78) today, pondering how my view and feel and perspective and attitude toward that drive is so different than it was just a couple of months ago and how distinctly real each view is/was to me, I realized such is life.
Whether it's a place or a relationship or a role in life, our view, our reality is based on our experience with that object, it's surrending, attachments, etc. It's all so subjective. And yet each perspective seems so real, so accurate.
I mean think about the way you viewed your best friend or boy friend or wife when you first saw them versus how you see them now. Or how you perceived your home when you first moved in. What about your work place when you first interviewed there. Your neighbor, your city, your country. Your children.
I can only imagine that the way I view marriage - something I've never experienced - will radically change on my wedding day and then on my one year anniversary and then on my fifty year anniversary.
Or what about death. Heck, what about life once I'm dead?!
And, the thing, that I ended on during this ride-home ponder was God. It made so much more sense...how we all have such different views of God based on our experiences, our place in life, our address in the world. But the most interesting part is to think about God's view of us, of life, of this world. What is God's view of Ponce/Scott/78? What is His view of himself? Imagine having the whole view and the accurate view.
It brings me great joy to make my way through these streets of Atlanta and take life in as I grow to know and love this city around me and it brought me greater joy as I pondered how I really don't have it all figured out. There's so many more facets to experience...of Atlanta, life and most of all God.

I'm reminded of the lyrics I sang (along with Alanis) yesterday on that same drive home


What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet



And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet


What it all comes down to
Is that everything is going to be quite alright