silly lyrics?

I've heard this song (see some of lyrics below) hundreds of times and I've sung along with Kelly not even knowing what I was singing until today when, for some reason, I actually listened to what I was singing. It was almost comical at how I was singing about my self, my self-protective way, my fears. Who the "you" is in the song is pretty much irrelevant, but what is relevant is my (our) incredible tendency to put up walls in order to control, secure and protect our hearts from pain. The irony that I'm cleary seeing is that in this desire (or rather, need) to control things, I am actually being controlled by the need to control/protect/secure. Oh, how I see the gospel, the freedom that Jesus offers me, as more and more relevant to my life...the more I see my own issues (bieng captive to my own lack of trust, for example) the more I see my desperate need and desire for the security that Jesus offers me: the security that, if I take hold of it, frees me up to trust, risk, love and be loved. It's often hard to believe that I can change, rather that God is changing me, but I must hold on to the hope that "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion..." and that even if I don't experience that completion in this life, I will experience it forever with Jesus.


I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Kelly Clarkson
"Because Of You"